What are Alienating Behaviours?
There is no defined term for alienating behaviours but it can be used to describe behaviour whereby one parent or carer expresses negative affiliations about another parent or carer, with the intention of alienating or destroying a child’s relationship with that person. Care should be taken to establish how a child is behaving and reacting to a situation before concluding that it is the other parent’s actions that have resulted in certain adverse behaviour. This often comes from a place of anger or hurt from one parent or carer and can be done through a desire to punish the other parent or carer, whether there is a direct intention to do so, or not.
The parent who may be accused of ‘alienating’ the child or children from the other parent may do this with the hope that the child(ren) will turn against the other parent. They may do this by making them believe that the alienated parent is dangerous or unworthy of a relationship with them.
What are the signs of Alienating Behaviours?
The child(ren) may show various or multiple signs that could mean that one parent has been alienated.
Examples may include:
- Refusing to spend time with one parent.
- Continually criticizing one parent
- Perceiving one parent as the ‘good’ one and the other as ‘bad’
- Having no justification for their reasons of thinking one parent is ‘bad’.
- Referring to the alienated parent using words that may come from an adult vocabulary.
Effects of Alienation
A child who is believed to be experiencing alienation may suffer emotional damage in the short-term and even more so in the long-term. This could be a particularly unhealthy direct response to ill-feelings from one parent towards an ex-partner. In a healthy co-parenting relationship, both parents should encourage a child(ren) to have a positive, active, and on-going relationship with the other parent or carer, especially when the child(ren) are already enduring a difficult stage of adjustment during unfortunate breakdown of the family or home-life structure.
It is important that this is dealt with as soon as possible.
How can Oliver and Co Help?
If you believe that your child(ren) are exhibiting alienating behaviours, Oliver and Co Solicitors can help you. We offer free initial 10-minute phone calls whereby we can take some background facts from you and assess and discuss with you what appropriate action to take.
By using Oliver and Co Solicitors, we can help you to resolve matters outside of a court environment, either through mediation (which we offer) or constructive legal advice. If these options are unsuccessful, then we can assist you further by making an application to court for a Child Arrangements Order whereby a child(ren) could potentially spend more time with the parent affected by alienation and provisions can be set out in an order encouraging a more collaborative and less denigratory approach to the other parent. The court may also order an independent assessment to be made of the family and the children, usually undertaken by CAFCASS, to determine the welfare of/ the wishes and feelings of the child(ren) and to assist in reaching a more beneficial outcome for the child(ren) for example, by parents attending courses and recommendations regarding therapy and other support services for the child(ren).
It is useful to obtain legal advice as early as possible if you believe signs of alienation are apparent so that we can discuss this further with you. If you feel you may have suffered alienation, please don’t hesitate to give us a call on 01244 662129.
